Chest pain, lower jaw pain, nausea, vomiting, severe headache…Those were the symptoms I was experiencing 3 weeks ago.  The ambulance came, checked my vitals, ran an EKG, and everything appeared normal.  They took me to the ER.  What I learned very quickly is that the only way to tell if you have had a heart attack is by testing your blood and looking at the cardiac enzymes – they will be elevated and peak at 24 hours after the attack.  I had had a heart attack.  The next step is to have a heart catheterization to view the condition and blood flow in the major arteries of the heart and to look for blockages.  The attending cardiologist saw one blockage in a very small branch artery where many blood vessels had built around it – so that didn’t cause the attack.  They don’t know what caused it.

All of this has made me think a lot about my blood, arteries, and my heart – from a physical and spiritual perspective. Remember, all of the outside tests run by the paramedics showed everything was normal.  Maybe you look like everything is fine spiritually on the outside.  But what’s in your blood?  Does it show signs of a spiritual heart attack?  Maybe it is hardened with plaque causing reduced blood flow? Or are there blockages between you and God?  Maybe there is so much hurt you have 100% blockage in an artery.  You’ve lost connection with God.  Or is your blood pulsing with a passion for Jesus.  Maybe your blood is thin, maybe you are just hanging on in your relationship with God?  Maybe you are at the point of giving up.  I want my spiritual blood to be flowing and pumping hard with a passion for Jesus!  I want my heart to be so strong that people can see Jesus in me from the outside!

So, what if you are in one of the places I mentioned above?  Maybe you are far from God, maybe you feel nothing and God seems far away?  Maybe you have had a heart attack spiritually and need to re-evaluate and re-engage in your relationship with Him?  Maybe there is a complete blockage due to hurt or anger toward God?  Maybe you need Him to clear that blockage?  Or maybe life has just worn you down with all of the trials, challenges, hardships, illnesses and tragedies and your blood is running really thin.  If any of these resonate with you, I want to encourage you – God has not moved, He is not angry with you, He is not out to punish you.  In fact,

“Do you believe that the God of Jesus loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity—that he loves you in the morning sun and in the evening rain—that he loves you when your intellect denies it, your emotions refuse it, your whole being rejects it. Do you believe that God loves without condition or reservation and loves you this moment as you are and not as you should be.” – Brennan Manning

Brennan Manning is my favorite author of all time.  I have every book he has ever written and I heard him teach multiple times while he was alive.  The way he communicated the relentless love of God for me has transformed my life!

God loves you now and His love has not changed.  Nothing you can do can change His love for you.  It is relentless, all-pursuing, unending, has no limit, or boundary.  It has no end and you cannot change the way He loves you.  If we could, His love for us would be very fickle.  Maybe you are thinking, “yeah, I know that, but I feel nothing.”  Thank God His love is not dependent on our feelings!  That’s when faith comes in.  Sometimes the feelings aren’t there and we just have to confess the truth of His love and stand on His Word!  His love never fails!

As Christmas quickly approaches, I wanted to take a few minutes to share my thoughts.  My thoughts have been so consumed recently with life, work, and some physical issues.  I had a heart attack the week of Thanksgiving, which has given me even more to think about.  God protected my life and all is okay.  As all of these things swirl around in my head, I search for the simplicity of life and renewing my passion for the Baby at the manger.  As I have been resting and focusing on my health, I haven’t decorated for Christmas – just seemed like a lot of effort when I wasn’t having people over for any party or anything.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m no scrooge.  I love Christmas – I just haven’t expressed it this year as most people do with the decorations, pictures of Santa, and multitudes of presents, Christmas carols, and Christmas lights.  I contemplate on what Christmas is really about – to me it is about setting aside all of these thoughts and struggles and responsibilities of work and home and life and choosing to meditate on the Child in the manger.  When all is said and done, all of these things occupying my thoughts won’t matter.  The basis of my identity lies in Exodus 9:16  ^“But I have raised you up^[a] for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”  God has a purpose for my life and your life that has not been completed, a purpose the enemy cannot thwart or derail no matter how he tries.  Simplicity: God created me to demonstrate His power and proclaim His name throughout the earth!  It is all for His glory!  Maybe you are struggling in life this Christmas season: conflicts or struggles in family, relationships, work, addictions, stress, physical health issues, despair.  Maybe life is simply overwhelming and you feel paralyzed.   In John 10:10, we are told how the enemy comes to kill and destroy – he comes to derail us, to attack us with doubt, self-pity, depression, confusion and to take our focus off of Jesus.  He disturbs our sleep, causes chaos and seems unrelenting at times.   But, the Truth is that God came to give us life and life more abundantly.  He has a purpose for your life this Christmas season.  He wants to show you the depth of His love and to demonstrate His glory through every trial or difficulty you are facing!!  We are not victims of the enemy!  Because of Jesus, we are victors! 

Revelation 12:10-12 (NIV)

¹⁰ Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

In January of this year (2016), I ordered an updated version of McAfee Virus Scan for my personal tablet/laptop.  I opened the box from Amazon but never opened the McAfee dvd case.  I put it off for months and also ignored all of the alerts I received daily on my tablet saying my virus scan had expired.  My tablet doesn’t have a dvd rom built in, but I had purchased an external dvd drive when I bought the tablet.  I hadn’t opened the new dvd case because I couldn’t find my dvd drive so I kept putting it off.  Finally, last week, I went searching again and couldn’t find the drive.  I thought I had to have the drive to be able to load the software.   I finally went ahead and opened the McAfee dvd case.  To my surprise, there was no dvd.  There was just a credit-size card with instructions on how to activate the software over the Internet.  All this time, I thought I had to have something or do something else before I could open the package.  Then, when I opened the package, everything I needed was there.

This makes me think of salvation and how many people come to Christ but never open the gift they have received.  They think they have to perform, measure up, be good enough, fix something, say something, or do something to open it.  It is a FREE gift and everything you need is inside – nothing is required on your part!

I had professional photos of me taken last November.  Earlier this year, I decided I would enlarge one of them and use metallic markers to write out all of the things I AM in Christ and all of the things I HAVE in Christ.  When you don’t open the package, you miss all of these things you HAVE in Christ – FREE!  In this package, you have:

1. FREEDOM
2. The mind of Christ
3. Eternal life
4. Redemption
5. Righteousness
6. The Holy Spirit
7. A spirit of power
8. A spirit of love
9. A spirit of a sound mind
10. HOPE
11. Joy
12. Salvation
13. An Inheritance
14. Purpose
15. A wonderful future
16. An anointing
17. Access to the Father
18. Adoption
19. Security
20. Life
21. Peace
22. The Fruits of the Spirit

I felt like an idiot this week when I realized, after opening the McAfee disk case, that everything I needed was right there.  Have you opened the gift of salvation and found all of these things you have in Christ?  Maybe it’s time……….