Chest pain, lower jaw pain, nausea, vomiting, severe headache…Those were the symptoms I was experiencing 3 weeks ago. The ambulance came, checked my vitals, ran an EKG, and everything appeared normal. They took me to the ER. What I learned very quickly is that the only way to tell if you have had a heart attack is by testing your blood and looking at the cardiac enzymes – they will be elevated and peak at 24 hours after the attack. I had had a heart attack. The next step is to have a heart catheterization to view the condition and blood flow in the major arteries of the heart and to look for blockages. The attending cardiologist saw one blockage in a very small branch artery where many blood vessels had built around it – so that didn’t cause the attack. They don’t know what caused it.
All of this has made me think a lot about my blood, arteries, and my heart – from a physical and spiritual perspective. Remember, all of the outside tests run by the paramedics showed everything was normal. Maybe you look like everything is fine spiritually on the outside. But what’s in your blood? Does it show signs of a spiritual heart attack? Maybe it is hardened with plaque causing reduced blood flow? Or are there blockages between you and God? Maybe there is so much hurt you have 100% blockage in an artery. You’ve lost connection with God. Or is your blood pulsing with a passion for Jesus. Maybe your blood is thin, maybe you are just hanging on in your relationship with God? Maybe you are at the point of giving up. I want my spiritual blood to be flowing and pumping hard with a passion for Jesus! I want my heart to be so strong that people can see Jesus in me from the outside!
So, what if you are in one of the places I mentioned above? Maybe you are far from God, maybe you feel nothing and God seems far away? Maybe you have had a heart attack spiritually and need to re-evaluate and re-engage in your relationship with Him? Maybe there is a complete blockage due to hurt or anger toward God? Maybe you need Him to clear that blockage? Or maybe life has just worn you down with all of the trials, challenges, hardships, illnesses and tragedies and your blood is running really thin. If any of these resonate with you, I want to encourage you – God has not moved, He is not angry with you, He is not out to punish you. In fact,
“Do you believe that the God of Jesus loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity—that he loves you in the morning sun and in the evening rain—that he loves you when your intellect denies it, your emotions refuse it, your whole being rejects it. Do you believe that God loves without condition or reservation and loves you this moment as you are and not as you should be.” – Brennan Manning
Brennan Manning is my favorite author of all time. I have every book he has ever written and I heard him teach multiple times while he was alive. The way he communicated the relentless love of God for me has transformed my life!
God loves you now and His love has not changed. Nothing you can do can change His love for you. It is relentless, all-pursuing, unending, has no limit, or boundary. It has no end and you cannot change the way He loves you. If we could, His love for us would be very fickle. Maybe you are thinking, “yeah, I know that, but I feel nothing.” Thank God His love is not dependent on our feelings! That’s when faith comes in. Sometimes the feelings aren’t there and we just have to confess the truth of His love and stand on His Word! His love never fails!
